


I’m not your boss

by Violet11



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hunk wants Lance to shut up, Keith and Pidge are best friends, Matt and Shiro live together, Meeting over text, Pidge and Keith have a plan, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, The cats are the lions, There is cursing, Watching animal documentaries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 21:55:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14029572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violet11/pseuds/Violet11
Summary: Lance is bad at reading his bosses handwriting, it never bothered him until he decided to text it to work when he was sick.





	1. Hi boss, I’m sick

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been working on this for a while, hope you like it!

Lance had caught a virus that had been going around town and he had to call into work.

 

  
Monday February 19th

Unknown contact: I won’t be in for work today because a caught a virus.

Random number: um…

Random number: I think you have the wrong number

Unknown number: WHAT?!?!!??

Unknown number: MY BOSS GAVE ME THIS NUMBER

Random number: did you read it wrong?

Unknown contact: the sevens sort of look like ones

Random number: replace the sevens with ones and try calling again.

Unknown contact: that actually worked

Unknown contact: thank you stranger I just met

Random number: it’s nothin

  
Wednesday February 21st 3:50 pm

Unknown contact: do you know the best medicine 4 a cold?

Random number: why are you texting me?

Unknown contact: no 1 else is awake

Random number: I wonder why…

Unknown contact: is that sarcasm I sense?!?!

Random number: just google it and let me sleep

Unknown contact: fineeee

  
Thursday February 24th 6:15 pm

Random number: what should I do?!??!!

Unknown contact: what’s happening???!

Random number: my roommates dog is expecting pups! I just found out about it from the vet!!?

Unknown contact: what’s so bad?

Random number: they’re out of town with my parents

Random number: I have no idea what to do for a pregnant dog.

Unknown contact: make a bed of blankets

Random contact: ok thanks

Unknown contact: your welcome

  
Thursday February 24th 7:00 pm

Keith: Pidge

Keith: Pidge

Keith: PIDGE

Pidge: jfc what?!??

Keith: your dog is gonna have puppies

Pidge: I want a pupdkdjdjdikssnjdjxjd

Keith: Pidge are you ok?...

Pidge: sorry Matt took my phone

Pidge: how many pups do the vets think there are?

Keith: a lot…

Keith: where do you think she got pups?

Pidge: she escaped 5 months ago 4 a week….

Pidge: and after that a dog kept coming to the fence of our yard and kept howling….

Keith: is it the week I was gone?

Pidge: yea

Keith: so are we giving a puppy to Matt?

Pidge: No. I’m gonna give one to Shiro tho

Keith: ok gtg, see you in two days

  
February 25th 6;00 am

Unknown Contact : I found a cat

Random number: rly?

Random number: stop texting me so early in the morning.

Unknown contact: I found her in a box in front of the coffee shop I work at

Unknown contact: they’re are like 4 more?!?!?

Random number: Are you keeping them?

Unknown contact: i can’t

Unknown contact: some guy is moving the box

Unknown: he said he moves it around so people will take the cats because he’s allergic

Unknown contact: he put the box in his truck

*1 hour later*

Random number: dude

Unknown number: what?

Random number: I found the box of kittens

Unknown number: really? Where

Random number: in a dumpster…

Unknown number: WHAT!!?????!!

Unknown number: so that guy was lying??!?!!

Random number: I guess???

Random number: I’m taking them back to my house right now, they’re freezing

Unknown contact: well I have one right now

Unknown contact: but I’m at work

Random number: I think I’m gonna give a kitten to Matt…

Unknown number: who’s Matt?

Random number: my roommates brother

Unknown contact: I gtg my boss caught me on my phone

Random number: bye

  
February 25th 5:32

Random number: all the kittens are ok I took them to the vet.

Unknown Contact : that’s good

Unknown: you better not let my children get hurt

Random number: >.> rly?

Unknown contact: ;) yea

Random number: gtg my parents are getting home tonight.

Unknown contact: k bye

  
February 25 6:30

Random number: btw what should I call you?

Unknown contact: shakira

Random contact: ???

Unknown contact: because my hips don’t lie ;)

Random contact: you listen to Shakira?

Unknown contact: yeah, what do you listed to?

Random number: panic at the disco

Random number: and MCR

Unknown contact: ………..

Unknown contact: OMG

Random number: what?

Unknown contact: YOUR EMO!!!!!!!!

Unknown contact: i srsly just feel off the bed and my roommate is looking at me weird >U<

Random number: haha. Hilarious.

Unknown contact: anyway, what’s your favorite Color?

Random number: red?

Unknown contact: then that’s what I’ll call you

Red: ok then what’s your favorite Color?

Unknown contact: blue

Red: then that's what I’m calling you

Blue: fine

Red: gtg Pidge wants to watch a conspiracy theorist documentary

Blue: ok bye

 

  
—————————————————————-

Keith walked into the living room where Pidge was sorting through all the movies when they decided on the one about aliens. Keith walked mover and flopped on the couch causing Pidge to jump and drop the movie.

“Really Keith?!?!” They said picking up the movie and slammed it in the slot. Keith had a shit eating grin as Pidge sat down and started the movie. Pidge was a short person with short light brown hair. They also had circular glasses that sometimes gave the impression of an owl.

Pidge broke the silence by saying “ who were you texting at dinner?”

“Would you believe me if I said it was no one?” Keith said his grin disappearing.

“Nope” Pidge said popping the P.

Keith knew how nosy Pidge was so he probably shouldn’t have been texting at the dinner table. This is what he gets for not being cautious. “You do know you were giggling at dinner, right?”

Keith felt his face heat up at this comment and he covered his face pretending to be watching the movie to avoid conversation.

They sat in silence until Keith finally said something. “They typed they’re bosses number wrong by putting sevens instead of ones and they’re pretty nice and kept texting me so I texted back. They also found a kitten in a box but before they could take the box some guy came and took the box Later that day I found the box of kittens in a dumpster.”

“Ok wait, You have kittens?” Pidge said hearing this news for the first time.

“I have four” Keith said dead panning.

Pidge had they mouth open slightly and just…stared at Keith. They watched the rest of the movie in silence.

“Bye Pidge I’m gonna go to bed” Keith said getting up from the couch and stretching a few bones cracking.

Are you SURE your going to bed?” Pidge said smirking like the little shit they are.

“I also have to take care of the kittens” Keith said ignoring they’re suggesting ton.

“And your ‘friend’ to text” they added with a grin.

“Your officially NOT ALLOWED to see the kittens” Keith said like a boss.

Then he exited the room with pidge saying something like “ nuuuuu not the kwittwns”.

They were obviously tired so Keith just let them be. When he got up to his room he got food for the meowing kittens. He had decided on a name for most of them. His personal favorite (Red) was named because of her fierce personality. Yellow was named after her yellow eyes and shy personality. Green was named after she had climbed literally every like it was a jungle gym including Keith ( He nicknamed her “Monkey”. The last one he had no problem naming, Purple A.K.A the literal devil itself. She had left Keith's hand bloody after like five minutes they also puffed up and he put ointment on them.

After he took care of the kittens he decided to text blue

  
\--------------------

February 25th 11:13 pm

Red: this cat is the literal DEVIL

Blue: what?

Red: she's a DEMON

Blue: phhhfffff what's the worst a kitten could do?

Red: *picture sent*

Blue: holy fucking shit is that your hand?!??!

Blue: wtf is it yellow?!!???

Blue: is that blood?

Blue: I think that's infected

Red: no dip sherlock

Red: It's not the worst I've had

Red: one time when I was twelve I broke my leg and the bone burst up through the skin

Blue: TMI dude

Blue: or dudette

Red: dude.

Blue: same

Blue: gtg blue needs to be fed

Red: k I'll tell you the kittens names tomorrow

Blue: k bye

——————-  
February 26 6:00 am   
Red: hi

Blue: what’s up?

Red: you still wanted to know the kittens names right?

Blue: yeaaaaaaaah ssssss!!!!!!!

Red: *sent image*

Blue awwwwww

Red: the one on the left is red. The one with yellowish eyes is yellow. The one on the left is green A.K.A the monkey. The one in the front is a DEVIL or purple.

Blue: you named then after colors?

Red: you named blue after a color!

Blue: that's not fair!!!!!!

Red: what isn’t fair?

Blue: you stole my tradition!!!!

Blue: you thief!!!!

Red: you're too dramatic.

Blue: am not

Red: I have to go fix my friend, bye

Blue: ok bye

Blue: this talks not over tho  
—————  
Keith was embarrassed. Not by lance but his blush, the worst part was Pidge had decided to walk in at that very moment. They just stared at him for a second before doing the most immature and embarrassing thing on the planet.

“KEITHY HAS A CRUSH” they screamed throughout the entire house, luckily Keith’s parents weren’t home but Keith was sporting a deeper blush than he had earlier.

“Pidge please shut up” he said in a low voice.

“Why, it’s the truth, right?” She said fashioning a smirk. Keith's face turns red at that.

“No! I don't even know his real name!”  
Keith said quickly and a little louder than he meant to.

“But you wish you did” pidge said wiggling their eyebrows at him. Keith just stood there in thought. Could he be in love with someone he hadn't met? No he couldn't, for all he knew blue was twelve or something. No, wait he has a job that's honestly a relief to keith.

“It's too early for to deal with your obliviousness” pidge said sighing looking extremely fed up. Keith knew this to well when Pidge is pissed you don't get in they're way.

“Well… what if he's like 12?!!?” Keith said relilizing how weird that would be.

“Don't worry” pidge said with a sly smile.

“I think that's a sign I should worry more?” Keith said confused.

“Let me explain” pidge said pushing they’re glasses farther up they’re face. “I may or may not have taken your phone in the middle of the night” at that Keith squeaked his disapproval. “Let me finish explaining! So I got his number and did some tricks” oh man, Keith knew what that meant. Pidge could access everything about a person just by they're number, he's seen them do it and it's scary how much your phone number can give about you.

“So anyway, he’s not twelve and he has an adorable cat” Pidge said smiling, obviously proud of them self. Keith already knew blue had a cat named...well, blue. Now that he thought about it they had both named a cat after they’re favorite Colors. Keith was still pissed so he decided to lecture Pidge.

“You are so dead if something like this ever happens again. Also your kitten privileges will be revoked” Keith said in a ‘I don’t take BS from anyone’ kinda way. Pidge straightened they’re stance and said”yessir” and bowed and walked off. Keith knew that would work, Pidge loves kittens almost as much as they love Starbucks, Whitehead is a lot. Keith then realized he should explain to blue what happened.

February 26 6:33 am

Red: sorry

Red: Pidge is annoying as fuck

Blue: who’s Pidge?

Red: really good child friend that I let live with me.

Red: I kind of regret it now

Blue: what did she or he do?

Red: 1( they

Blue: ok so they

Red: so basically Pidge is like a genius

Blue: k

Red: they took my phone in the middle of the night and got a hold of your number

Blue: and why is this bad?

Red: as I said they're a genius

Red: with technology

Red: social media

Red: name

Red: pictures

Red: they can get it with just your number

Blue: that’s terrifying

Red: btw they like your cat

Blue: tell them thanks

Red: fine

  
February 26 7:24 am

Keith: blue said thanks for complimenting his cat

Pidge: no problem

Pidge: hay Keith

Keith: what

Pidge: do you ship Shatt?

Keith:.........I’m not answering that

Pidge: remember that one time Shiro did the hot sauce prank?

Keith: I’m listening…

Pidge: we could give Matt and Shiro a “push” if you know what I mean ;)

Keith: let’s do it.

—————————-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Egg to my sandwich?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mothman documentary. Shatt. Names are revealed.

February 26 8:00 am

Keith: so what’s the plan?

Pidge: we pack our bags and go to Shiro And Matt’s! ASAP

Keith: we were supposed to visit in two days but I guess we can go early

Pidge: yaaa, lets go!!!

Keith: stop screaming, I’m trying to pack

Pidge: would you rather me scream about your “friend”?

Keith:......I said nothing

Pidge: deal

Keith: I suddenly am thankful I didn’t have a younger sibling while growing up

Pidge: yea, you already have me

  
Keith: 0-0

Keith: I’m packed now

Pidge: I was already packed for they’re house soooo

Keith: I’ll leave without you if you don’t hurry up

Pidge: already in the car bitch

Keith: ok I’m coming out since your a tiny child and can’t drive

  
—————————————-

Keith was walking out to the hot pink pickup truck parked in the driveway. “Hurry up you snail” Pidge screamed out the back window. Keith just rolled his eyes as he slipped into the driver's seat.

After about an hour on the road Pidge turned the X-files theme on for an hour on repeat, the war was on. “Nope, we have an hour left and no matter how much I love that theme song I need panic! In this trip.” Keith said as dramatically as he could manage.

“Dang you and your emo music” Pidge grumbled slumping in her seat.

“We could also listen to the mothman documentary” Keith said then threw in a twist “after The Black Parade” this was the best Pidge was gonna get, and that was only because Keith loved the mothman documentary. Pidge looked a tad bit happier after that.   
  
After a while of scrolling through their phone they said,“Matt wants a kitten,”. Keith kind of hesitated because that would mean giving one of his children away, then he realized the perfect kitten that was destined to be with Pidges annoying older brother.

“Sure” Keith said smirking to himself.

—————————  
February 26 9:38

Pigeon: Keith said yes to the kitten idea

Matt: yasssssss

Matt: sign me up

Pigeon: I’m suddenly glad you moved away

Matt: wat?!?! No you will always miss me

Pigeon: ok, I might miss you and shiro

Matt: HA, I knew it

Pigeon: haha very funny

Pigeon: the things I don’t miss about you two is your terrible cooking

Matt: WAt, naw, were the best cooks

Pigeon: my very reliable source says otherwise

Matt: oh what did your source say… it’s probs fake

Pigeon: what is this about you burning down Keith’s cryptid shack that was in the dessert

Matt: that was one time!!!!!

Matt: anyway, we didn’t go to fucking candy land

Pidge: sorry your the least of my focus right now

Matt: what’s more important than your own brother?

Pidge: mothman documentary

Matt: well….

Pidge: What?

Matt: what if I’m secretly mothman?

Pidge: no, your to lame to be mothman.

Pidge: anyway all evidence points to you being a pining dinosaur

Matt: what?!?!?

Matt: I’m not extinct?!?!??

Pidge: jfkfiebdifh

Pidge: r you flippin serious right now?

Matt: yassssss

Pidge: when we get there I’m gonna through a tree at you

Matt: good luck Katie

Pidge: stop calling me that!!!

Matt: ok gremlin

Pidge: doormatt

Matt:cryptid hunter

Pidge: I’m ok with that one

Matt: yea, secret code name

Pidge: yours is THE StUPiD DInnY Sawr

Matt: we’ll be able to use >:3

Pidge: for evillllll

Pidge: >:3

Pidge: almost there

Matt: gonna be nice to see ya

Pidge: can’t say the same

Matt: ….

————————-

Pidge was actually really excited to see they’re brother, no matter what they said. It had been about four months since they had seen there brother and they really did miss him. Pidge was practically bouncing with joy as they pulled on to the street they’re and Keith’s brothers lived.

“Would you chill out Pidge, your making the entire truck shake,” Keith said with a small, very rare, smile.

“When you stop hunting for mothman,” Pidge said smirking and making eye contact with Keith through the mirror “which is never.” They finished, still bouncing in they’re seat. Neither of them had time to finish they’re conversation because Keith had pulled into the driveway of Matt and Shiro's house.

Pidge was so excited they’re hands were shaking and they could barely unbuckle they’re seat belt, on the other hand Keith started honking the horn very, very loudly, screaming out the window “you fuckers better get out here!” At the top of his lungs.

Pidge saw Matt come running out the door in his pastel purple pajamas, Pidge had gotten they’re seat belt undone so they opened the car door and jumped out. Matt and Pidge met halfway and Pidge jumped on Matt and hung on like a koala. Mat started spinning and they were both grinning like idiots. Keith and Shiro gave each other firm but brotherly hugs.

“What’s up little bro?” Shiro said grinning.

“Keithhhhyyyyyyyyyy made a friend,” Pidge said, drawing out his name because why not? Shiro then wiped a single tear from his eye.

“I can’t believe my little bro is finally growing up, I….. am so proud,” Shiro said smiling and giving Keith a slightly sarcastic but really proud smile.

—————-  
February 26 1:00 pm

Red: hi

Blue: yo wats up?

Red: the sky

Blue: >.>

Blue: rly?

Red: omg

Blue: what?

Red: Pidge's brother must be rubbing off on me

Blue: what? You live with like a bazillion people

Red: no we’re just visiting

Blue: cool, are you like at their house?

Red: yes me and Pidge have a plan

Blue: saucey

Blue: can I join?

Red: ok

Blue: :)))))) yeasssss, spill,  
Now.

Red: ok so my brother Shiro and Pidges brother Matt are pining.

Blue: we could lock them in a closet???

Red: maybe

Blue: we could literally push them together

Red: ok

Blue: suck I can’t be there :(

Red: FaceTime?????

Blue: sign me up!

Red: we’ll probably do it sometime tomorrow

Blue: Hunk will be so proud of me :,)

Red: cool?

Blue: I’m a matchmaker!!!!

Red: whatever makes you sleep at night

Blue: rude!!!

Red: I speak the truth, and nothing but the truth

Blue: LIES

Red: Wat ever

Blue: I’m shakira

Red: is it because your hips don’t lie?

Blue: I don’t know do they?

Red: how would I know, I’ve never seen your hips?

Blue: well you could figure it out easily ;)

Red: What?

Blue: you just have to take a look and you can tell they’re not lying

Red: ok? I guess.

Blue: lol GN

Red: good night you dork

Blue: if I’m a dork your a…..

Blue: ummmm

Blue: pancake?

Blue: no, your a fork

Red: GN you need sleep

Blue: good night fork

———————————

  
It was 6:00 AM and Keith and Pidge were plotting while Shiro and Matt made breakfast.

“Ok so our plan is to put freaky jumpscare Halloween decorations, right?” Pidge said running through the plan they had been working on.

“Remember, we have plan B And C and possibly a plan D, I also have to call Blue,” Keith said naming all their backup plans.

“Let’s call blue right now since I have all the Halloween decorations set up,” Pidge said attempting to grab Keith’s phone.

“I’m calling blue, not you,” Keith said already hitting the FaceTime function. It rung for a few minutes.   
  
“Hi,” is the first thing blue said to him. Of course the first thing Keith said was “mothman is cool,”. He couldn’t help it! He gets nervous meeting new people especially cute ones! Matt and Shiro decided to walk in and trip the wire for a creepy ass demon doll thingy to come flying at them. Keith heard laughter burst from his phones speakers. Matt’s reaction was to jump into Shiros arms and Shiros first instinct was to hug someone. You can guess how that worked out.

“What the fuck! It’s too early to be Halloween,” Matt said(still in Shiro's arms). Pidge was smirking like the shit they are, Shiro is blushing and giving Matt googly eyes and Matt was doing them right back. Pidge was still smirking. The boys are getting closer, and closer, suddenly Matt jumps out of Shiro's arms and slaps his ass.

“Thanks, Shiro, buddy, pal,” Matt said awkwardly wringing his hands together. Shiro then grabbed Matt’s forearm and said “can I talk to you for a second in my room? I just need to get something off my chest and I don’t want miscommunication to ruin our friendship,” Keith saw Matt nod and they both walked out of the room.

Pidge smirked and made eye contact and said “Let’s record it,” Keith usually wouldn’t agree but his mind keeps wandering to everything Shiro's done. So he just nods because he honestly needs to get back at his brother.

What they heard in that room were 1( romantic confessions 2( a nervous date proposal 3( Shiro squealing when Matt walked out of the room. The best thing was, they recorded everything from a crack in the door. Then suddenly a soft squishy cinnamon bun walked up behind blue and tapped his shoulder. “Umm, Lance buddy, what are you doing?” The cinnamon bun said looking at the scene on the phone screen. A tiny gremlin snickering evilly and a emo boy trying (and failing) to conceal his laughter. Hunk was very concerned to say the least. He knew Lance and most of his friends and these people were calling him blue? “Lance you shouldn’t talk to strangers,” Hunk said and then he sighed.

The boy with the mullet then said “wait, Lance is your name? I’ve heard Allura talking about you!” Lance then responded with “yeah, she’s my sister, she taught me how to do eyeliner,” is, of corse, what Lance responded. Then a guy with a white fringe walked in and said “Keith, your friend knows how to do eyeliner! Can I meet him? Please?” The mullet guy responded

“Don’t you have a date to go on?” The Guy with the freaky fringe jumped and said “oh yeah,” then screamed at the top of his lungs “I’m coming Matt!!!” A voice in the void that could not be seen beyond the phone screen said “YES, COME BE THE BUG TO MY JUICE, THE EGG TO MY SANDWICH, THE KETCHUP TO MY FRY!!”

Hunk just turned to Lance and said “your friends are weird, have fun,” Hunk then sassily flipped his hair and walked out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry this is out so late! It might take a while for the next chapter to come out because I sprained my thumb recently so my thumb is on bed rest, and considering I have to type on my phone at the moment, it’s hard. So I’m single handily writing this note! Literally. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!


	3. Pidges cupcakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4:12 and Pidge is making cupcakes.

February 27 10:09 pm

Blue: how’s the Shatt date going 

Red: good?

Blue: good. It’s my OTP now 

Red: I helped because their pining was getting Annoying

Blue: like you?

Red: What 

Blue: just kidding!

Red: i'll make Pidge fight you

Blue: whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Red: then they can’t trace the blame back to me

Blue: they can just read these texts and it will be very clear

Red: they won’t know if I’m joking right now or not

Blue: i'll make Pidge go against you

Red: no you can’t.

Blue: yes I can

Red: how??

Blue: bribery is key ; )

Red: well I’ll bribe them better

Blue: no you won’t 

Red: yes I will

Blue: I’m the best briber 

Red: wanna bet???

Blue: Yeah! I’m not losing 

Red: neither am I 

Blue: well be can’t both win

Red: exactly

Blue: ha

Red: I’ll set purple on you instead 

Blue: YOu wOuLdn't 

Red: I WOULD 

Red: that’s actually the cat I’m giving to Matt 

Blue: lol, that sucks for him

Red: Shiros giggling

Red: it’s really disturbing 

Blue: how?

Red: he’s my brother and he’s doing high pitched giggles 

Red: he usually has a really deep laugh 

Blue: ask him what happened;)

Red: ewwwww they’re making out, I’m leaving 

Blue: HAHA XD

Red: ITS JUST REALLY DISTURBING OK HE'S MY BROTHER

Blue: hasn't your brother had other significant others?

Red: one. He was pretty chill.

Red: they got in a pretty serious fight, Shiro kept doing stuff that would put his life at risk Adam couldn’t really take it? It was honestly really stressful for everyone. I mean I don’t really blame adam, stress really isn’t a good thing. 

Blue: ok, that was a lot of word vomit

Red: YEET

Blue: OH MY GOODNESS, U DID A MEME

Red: Nope, never, that didn’t happen 

Blue: of course! And I’m a unicorn princess who was raised by a dragon.

Red: really?

Blue: no

Red: oh 

Red: gotta go cook dinner

Blue: k bye : ) 

Febuary 28th 3:42 am

Blue: I wanna play a game 

Red: but, I wanna go to sleep? 

Blue: please, I will send you puppy dog eyes

Red: HA

*Blue sent a picture*

Red: Nope, not convinced 

Blue: I’ll pull out the big guns 

Red: do your worst 

Blue: time to pull out the Hunk eyes 

*Blue sent a picture*

Red: What game?

Blue: ok so basically 

Blue: we have to describe an object without saying the objects name 

Red: why wouldn’t we just say the objects name?

Blue: because that just beats the point

Red: but it’s simpler and makes more sense?

Blue: Can we just start?

Red: fine

Red: my way still makes more sense

Blue: my object is hard

Red: ok

Blue: it gets ruined if you put it in water

Red: HEY I think I got it

Blue: Ok, shoot

Red: a phone 

Blue: they make waterproof phones 

Red: oh

Blue: the object help you learn

Red: teacher?

Blue: Nope nopedy nope

Blue: you read it

Red: textbook!

Blue: almost! 

Red: ummm

Red: a book?!!???

Blue: Yea

Red: YES

Blue: ok give me an object 

Red: ok

Red: it’s short

Blue: OH Oh I GOT It

Blue: a lamp

Red: no

Blue: gimme a hint den

Red: it’s owlish

Blue: owl lamp

Red: ITSS NOT A LAMP

Blue: why not :(

Red: because

Red: The ‘object’ is #1 shatt shipper

Blue: but I’m not short

Red: for goodness sake

Red: they like mothman

Blue: you?

Red: THEY ARE A GENIUS WHO STEALS INFORMATION FROM PHONES IN THE MIDDLE IF THE NIGHT

Blue: Pidge

Red: yes! Finally.

Blue: ok I’ll do one more 

Blue: WHO LIVES IN A ________ UNDER THE SEA

Red: a fish?

Blue: no, spongebob

Red: why would a sponge be under the sea. 

Red: that makes no sense 

Blue: I can’t believe it.

Blue: you’ve never watched spongebob??????

Red: no???

Blue: ok, my object is yellow 

Red: butter

Blue: wow, no way

Blue: you eat it

Red: we eat butter?

Blue: well it’s not butter 

Red: lemon?

Blue: it’s spikey 

Red: edible yellow knife?

Blue: wtf no

Blue: it’s a fruit dude

Red: yellow apple

Blue: UGgGGggGg ALMOST

Blue: pine tree+apple

Red: appline

Red: no 

Red: PINEAPPLE 

Blue: YES FINALLY 

Red: now can I sleep?

Blue: fineeeeee

Febuary 28th 4:12 am

Pidge: comeeeeee toooooo meeeeeee

Keith: what.

Pidge: the kitchennnnnnnnn

Keith: sure?

———

Keith was no stranger to Pidges weird messages in the early morning. It was actually a rather common occurrence for both of them. Keith was currently tiptoeing down Shiro and Matt’s long ass hallway. As he walked he saw a lone light in the kitchen, as he rounded the corner he saw the young Pigeon in question. They were focusing on making some cupcake, when they saw him they straightened there glasses.

“So Keith, this is Shiro,” Pidge said gesturing to the cupcake they were working on. “I, What?” Keith said extremely confused. Pidge sighed, 

“This is Shiro's personality cast onto a cupcake,” Keith was immediately less confused, this actually made sense, the cupcake even had a little white fringe. 

“Let’s make him an alien robot arm that has the ultimate bitch slap,” Keith said with a sparkle to his eye.

“YES, that is the single greatest thing I have heard since I found the ghostbusters theme song,” Pidge said already pulling out the fondue. Keith knew this was a high compliment from Pidge, who absolutely loved ghostbusters. Keith and Pidge work for an hour on their wonderful creations. They had just finished all the kittens cupcakes when Shiro and Matt walked in.

“Ok, I’m just gonna leave right now and pretend I didn’t see this,” Shiro said sounding like the tired dad he is. As he turned to leave Matt caught him by the back of the shirt.

“Sorry Kashi, we should probably why their making weird cult summoning cupcakes in our kitchen at,” Matt looked at his watch “7:30 in the morning,”

“But I don’t want to Matthew,” Shiro said while dad sighing. 

Pidge then cut in and explained everything. “We were making personality cupcakes for you guys and Keith’s kittens, the purple cupcake you see here is purples cupcake, Purple is a literal devil hence the weird demonic symbols,” 

“Personality cupcakes?” Shiro said with a puzzled expression on his face.

Keith then inserted himself into the conversation to help his clueless brother understand. “We make the person or animal as a cupcake,” Keith said making eye contact with Shiro. He looked so done with the world right now. Shiro left without saying anything else. 

Pidge then called out “party pooper!” Like the little gremlin they are. 

“Ok enough about Shiro, I wanna see mine!” Matt said coming up and jumping by the counter. Pidge then showed Matt the cupcake with brown frosting that was infested with memes. Matt and Pidge then started rapidly in sibling language so no one else could understand. So this was the queue for Keith to start texting blue.

Febuary 28th 7:49 am

*red sent a picture*

Blue: awww cute cupcakes

Blue: Wait, dos that one have a weird high tech prosthetic?

Red: yes. 

Blue: nice 

Red: see their color coded for the kittens

Blue: I’m guessing Shiro's is the one with the floof 

Red: duh, what else would he have 

Red: I’m pretty sure Shiro is pissed, 

Blue: it can’t be that bad

Red: he walked out of the kitchen without his coffee

Blue: I’ll start planning your funeral!

Red: make sure all our kittens are there

Blue: yes, of course I’m bringing our children, what am I, a monster?

Red: yes 

Blue: haha hilarious 

Blue: for that I’m gonna let purple dance on your body

Red: I’m very offended you would even THINK of letting our demon child dance anywhere NEAR my dead body

Blue: you can’t use the ‘over my dead body’ saying

Red: hahaha. Very funny.

Blue: What’s Pidgion doing today?

Red: smirking like the gremlin they are 

Blue: of colors

Blue: *course

Blue: dam autocorrect 

Blue: *damn

Red: Dams are for beavers 

Blue: oh my god 

Red: : )

Blue: oh lovely 

Blue: anyway

Blue: how long did it take to make those cupcakes?

Red: from 4:12 am to 7:30 at the morning 

Blue: you need to sleep!

Red: But I don’t want to!

Blue: go to bed!!!

Red: no

Blue: pleaseeeeee

Red: I 

Red: fine 

Red: why do you care anyway?

Blue: Because I care about you

Red: thanks.

Blue: no probs, have a nice sleep

Red: of course

Red: have a nice day 

Blue: talk to ya later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I’m back, back again. Sorry for not updating sooner, I actually have an idea of where this story is gonna go so yeah.


End file.
